new year's resolutions?

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year that you never keep? Why not promise to do something you can actually accomplish? Here are some resolutions that you can use as a starting point:

1. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. 

2. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 

3. Read less. 

4. Watch more TV. I've been missing some good stuff. 

5. Procrastinate more. 

6. Drink. Drink some more. 

7. Take up a new habit: smoking. 

8. Spend at least $1000 a month on Ladies of the Night. 

9. Spend more time at work. 

10. Take a vacation to someplace important: like to see the largest ball of twine. 

11. Stop bringing lunch from home: I should eat out more. 

12. Quit giving money & time to charity. 

14. Start being superstitious. 

15. Have my car lowered and invest in a really loud stereo system. Get the windows tinted. Buy some fur for the dash. 

16. Speak in a monotone voice and only use monosyllabic words. 

17. Only wear jeans that are 2 sizes too small and use a chain or rope for a belt. Only wear white T-shirts with those fashionable yellow stains under the arms. 

18. Personal goal: bring back disco.

Blog more, the fans are dying for more of our dribble!

Ride posts coming soon, I got two so far and maybe, just maybe two more before the holiday's over.


A sad yuletide passing (with some festive cheer)

I don't know if you guys & laydeez have heard through whatever channels, the eventual outcome of that appalling International Freeride Competition incident involving a Giant rider, a Santa Cruz rider and a Specialized rider(?)

Tragically, due to the exceptional events involved; all three had unfortunately been pronounced dead earlier today; how untimely, less than only 48 hours before Christmas Day!!

Upon reaching the gates leading into Heaven; St Peter stood before the three departed and announced, "It is customary in these circumstances during the Festive Period, that in order to progress beyond the pearly gates; those seeking access into Heaven can only acheive this by demonstrating an attribute synonymous with Christmas "The fallen Giant rider dutifully reaches into his backpack; flicks and holds aloft his cigarette lighter, anouncing, "Look; a candle!" "Very well", responded St Peter, "You may pass beyond the gates"

The Santa-Cruz rider is the next to step forward; he reaches into his backpack and brings out his set of house keys, subsequently jingling them in-front of St Peter. "Behold - Bells!" says he"Mais Oui!" replies St Peter and the Santa Cruz rider duly continues into Heaven.

Finally, only the Specialized rider remains at the entrance to Nirvana, rummaging frantically through the contents of his backpack. Eventually, he stands before St Peter, unscrumpling a well-worn pair of the sexiest of women's skimpy undies and holds these forth in open hands "What in tarnation has this abomination got to do with Christmas, the most sacred of festive celebrations??!!" Demanded St Peter in utter disgruntled disbelief"Erm....................They are Carol's!" came the reply

This is about as close to riding as I got today, couple inches of rain and 40 degree weather'll do that to a feller. Maybe tomorrow.

BTW, story stolen from an MTBR thread.



here i got you something

How cute is that huh? Damn skippy it's cute.

I'll be out and about hoping w/fingers X'd to ride the next nine, yes 9, days in a row. I'll let you know how it goes.



it's gone, the shit that is, i ate it

Ever had one of those rides that starts out crappy only to get better? Me too but that's not what happened yesterday.

Supposed to get started at Turkey Mtn. at 9; so of course one dude shows up at 9:20. After he gets his kit on its then about 9:35 and up to the top we go. The weatherman had promised that the 40 degree temps we're experiencing will go up to about 48 by noon them plummet like corn loaded turds. Anyway he was fucking wrong, as soon as we got to the top it was quite obvious the wind had already switched and was coming out of the north so we'd already peaked at a brisk 42 or so. Anyway we head over to snake run and I'm givin' 'er but she ain't motoring like normal since it was straight into the wind and the trail was nice and tacky. Oh well I'm thinking by the time we get out of there I'll be nice and toasty. WRONG! By the time we get out of there I'm a fatass popsicle who's right big toe was now having pins poked into it. So we dicked around for awhile and finally one guy says he's got to go home so we head to the lot which means wind at our backs but higher speed in cold weather evened that out so nobody could get warmed up. After waiting for what seemed like forever the rest of the crew shows up and it’s decided we’ll do bomb cellar so it’s another fast blast to keep everyone refrigerated.

I’d decided I’d had enough since my right big toe was now past numb and past exhilarating and approaching snapping off.

But I got talked into riding Lo Chi.

That’s when the commode stopped up to top off the nasty shit.

Four of us commence to riding Lo Chi, me, a dude named Lance who lacks in skill but kills it with balls and legs, and two others who are fairly new to the game. After we get past the initial tech bits I decide to open ‘er up and see if Lance can hang thru the berms and get his flow on and of course to see if my skills could overcome his legs. Well I won out; after about three turns I look over my shoulder to see if he’s there and he’s back quite aways so I let ‘er rip. You know how it is, you’ve finally been released and the scenery is flying by and you’re nailing spot after spot and since it’s leafy as hell you’re right at the edge of adhesion. It’s fucking cool right, you know the kinda cool where occasionally you’re having to manhandle the bitch a bit ‘cause the front tires sliding out due to the leaves and yet you keep your speed and flow going? Yeah, you feeling it? Me too, then something happened; I was flying thru the air with no bike, only about 2.5 feet off the ground. I landed about 10-12 feet from my bike and thanks to the leaves and the lack of rocks (thanks trailbuilder) I slid another eight feet on the ground. (Kinda cool, but hurts like shit today.) After shaking off the cobwebs I reenacted the event to find that I’d come thru a berm, yanked on the bars to center the bike, and placed the front tire right smack dab in front of a rock; bars twist, slap upper thigh, and I go superman/no seat grab. Initial injury was quite unexplainable, a cramp in my calf? I don’t understand it either but once I get home and head to the crapper, obviously to shit out the shit that I just ate, grab the latest Decline mag, assume the position with elbows touching upper thighs and wince in pain to find out that I did have a spot or two other than the leg cramp. Odd how I didn’t notice that earlier, adrenaline I guess. About an hour later I go thru one of my post bronchitis coughing bits to learn that I also bruised something in my upper gut in the slide that now is quite noticeable to me anytime I laugh, cough, turn, or especially when I…you guessed it…shit!

Peace out bitches and get some.


top 10 bitches, TOP 10!!!

What a fucking weekend eh? Friday afternoon went for a little dirt spin @ Turkey & Saturday got my ass rocked off by these boys:

The one and only Eagles of Death Metal! Here I sit 24 hours later still getting off on the show. How good was it? I broke with tradition and bought a killer t-shirt with the hands logo on it and I NEVER buy a t-shirt, but these dudes deserve some more of my hard earned duckets!$$$

I would normally spend more time on the ride report but fuck my ears are still battered and bruised from last nights show; here's the link...go check 'em out! Eagles of Death Metal

And in case you're wondering if it's a blitzkrieg of rock the answer is no, it's not some total lameass 2 to 3 chord losers pounding out nonsense riffs louder than the other losers; it's straight up kickass rock-n-roll with a kick ass attitude!

See here:

And Here Shit Goddamn:

And let's not forget:

Oh, and how did I crack the top 10 out of 700 others? Well perseverance, hard work, dedicated to my goals, and just flat outlasting my competition...that's how!

You see by now alot of others would've given up but quit ain't in my dictionary and that's how at age 44 I was easily in the top 10 of oldest fuckers at the gig; but I promise you this, nobody there had a better time and nobody rocked any harder than I did!

Well, maybe the misses who was downing PBR's like they were ice fucking water!

Cool chick, very cool chick!

And let's not forget about Sammy, congrats to what seems to be a great guy, but umm looks like Fox Sports fucked it up the ass hard! From www.deadspin.com:


Boomer fuckin' Sooner

Like most typical OU fans I didn't go there but like most as a kid I dreamed of playing there, ergo lifetime fan.

This annihilation was flatout amazing. OU gets the Big XII Championship AND fucks over Texas head coach Mack Brown on the same night! How sweet it is!

Love this pic from www.deadspin.com:
One more game, and sadly my hopes aren't up too high for that one.

I know this is a cycling blog (mainly) and I know Buddy doesn't give a shit, but I do so if it bothers you then eat me.


get off my ASS

Yep it's been awhile but Buddy's been itching to post and so have I. 

The years been a little weird, I moved east of B.A. and somehow ended up in Tulsa? Go figure, anyway love the new house and the new schools that go along with it. (Still B.A. schools, again go figure.)

The riding scene's been wacky. I was starting to think that I'd ran off all my riding friends and then all of a sudden everyone's riding again along with a few new fellers; and I owe it all to my wife. Thus the blog post begins:

On August 9th I went for a little 13 mile ride with my wife and her boss, the pricipal where my wife is the librarian. The boss had been training for a half marathon and was starting to get in shape and wanted to try a bike ride for a cross training exercise. Now boss lady hadn't been on a bike in like 8 years and my wife hadn't ridden in like 3. (Went back to get her grad degree and started working, good enough excuses.) Anyway we ride about 13 miles total; when finished I'm in the parking lot waiting for them to arrive and upon arrival my wife says "Gene (boss) asked if we did the MS150 would you stay with us and I told her yes." (The two day 150 mile ride was in 5 weeks!) I concur and then Gene starts doing the math, she goes something like "so if we ride 8 mph we'd be done in like 10 hours the first day", so I of course shit myself and said something like "my ass won't be on any saddle for 10 hours so I'm out unless you two agree to a plan I concoct and stick to it", of course they agree and both being stubborn stuck to all the rides I'd planned for them without a single bitch session.

So the day before the MS150 commences they ask the question "do you think we can finish it?" and being honest Abe I answer "kinda", I said they could do the miles but didn't think they could do all the hills. (Which were all at about mile 70, short and freakin' steep!) Being the dummy I am they of course finish ALL of it and also make every freakin' climb and also finish the first day with about 7.5 hours of riding time. I was blown away and even shed a tear for the wife when she finished; yes I was proud of her! And btw for those of you who didn't ride the MS this year, it was held the weekend that the remnants of hurricane Ike blew thru, and yes it blew.

Since then it's been until recently riding, riding, and more riding. I've shed a bunch of the weight I'd sadly found over the last two years and am more stoked than ever.

Here's the crew. (I'm the fat but cute one and that beanpole on the left in the pic is none other than wifey)
Looking forward to more rides with the wife and yes that includes Turkey since she's got the nerve up to mtn. bike again and can't wait to get over this run of illnesses I've had lately and get back out in the dirt for night rides.

Too much fun!!!

Damn, almost forgot. Two days before the MS ride a crack in the wife's headtube showed up; T-Town calls Specialized tells them the details they say no problem, Jake says well there is, the MS ride is in two days, Specialized overnights a new frame and at the same time upgrades her two models! From the cheapo basic Allez to one with pimpin' carbon stays, a new carbon fork, and a free carbon post to boot! I've never been a fan of the horst link mtn. bikes but I may take another look next time I'm in the market for a ride.
Duh, how could I not mention this? The Evil Powers of Rock n' Roll blessed OKC with an hour show opening up for Rev. Horton Heat, fucking awesome. I've said it before and I'll say it again, how these guys don't sell a billion albums is beyond me; check 'em out! Click this shit!

Wow, there's a lot of shit bouncing around in my noggin''. Look for more posts and blasphemy spewage soon.