yes i was wearing a helmet

Unfortunately not only do those little mushroom headed bicycle helmets look dorky as hell they just don't cover much. Nonetheless I'm glad that I was wearing it. 10-11 stitches on the inside and 7 on the outside. Sucks because me and the Slayer were working perfectly up until the lights got turned out.

Go ride. Wear your helmet.

Buddy

i have a weapon in my pants

Before I explain that ignorant title, I'm damn sure glad to hear that my bro Kevin is alright after the fender bender. Can't wait to hear his tales of beating the rental car like a stubborn mule. And now, more mindless blabbering bullshit...

A few nights ago we got a call at our house from the Dove Foundation. Ever heard of these uptight jackasses? http://www.dove.org/ The first thing the frigid cunt on the other end of the phone asks me is “Can I speak to the lady of the house?” Had I been thinking I would have, in the deepest voice possible, replied with a simple “Speaking.” But I wasn’t on my A-game, told her that the lady of the house was busy, and asked if I could help. Again she says “Is the lady of the house available.” Again I tell her “Nope” and ask if she wants to relay a message. Well I guess Queen Dead-in-bed decided that I’d do and proceeded to read some prepared questions to me. She basically wanted to know if I agreed that Hollywood made too many R rated movies and not enough G rated ones. I told her “No” and that I didn’t really care. She then read another prepared question that basically asked the same thing. Again I told her “no” and again she tried to get me to agree with her. Normally this is the point when I get all creepy and start asking the phone solicitor specific questions about what kind of panties she has on. (this works great by the way) But like I said, I wasn’t on my A-game and by this time she’d pissed me of anyway. I told her that our kid does more than sit around and watch movies, he’s seen his fair share of cutesy ones lately, and that the wife and I dig movies for us too. Obviously this solicitation for poll results that they can manipulate was coming up empty handed and the phone call ended quickly thereafter. This poor lady needs to get fucked. And I don’t mean “get fucked” in the sense that I wish bad things for her. I mean she really needs to get fucked. And well.

Organizations like this confuse the hell outa me. Take the movie rating system for instance. Why is sex considered more evil and wrong than killing someone? You can go to any theatre (or hell you can just watch tv) and see folks get mutilated 100 different ways on any day. Just make sure that the murder victims aren’t too naked or sexed up because that’d require a higher rating. Penetration by some dude’s hawg is vulgar but penetration by a knife? Totally cool. ... WTF?

So why the fuck am I again posting on this here bike blog about something that has absolutely nothing to bikes? Well, the real reason is because this was meant to be a post about the freshly redesigned backyard bmx track but the sun went down before I got pics last night. But a more noble answer? Because maybe I hope that by some strange chance just one of the folks from the Dove Foundation, through my shitty writing, will see the light, take all of that energy, and put it into something more worthwhile. Instead of worrying about what kind of movies are put out how about trying something a little more helpful? There are millions of kids out there who are hungry, sick, neglected, abused, etc… Instead of worrying about what kind of movies are offered to little Johnny Suburbia why not concentrate on things like that?

And by the even greater chance this is being read by the specific ice queen who rang my digits the other night… Good luck with that orgasm and all of its “evil” sweetness.

Go ride,
Buddy

fupped duck

Fucked up has been my life lately. Not necessarily in a bad way; just an odd way. Take for instance the month of February. The shortest work month worked out to be my highest business travel month ever. I drove over 2800 working miles all in 20 days. Add in the fact that I probably spent 7 or so days in the office then the miles per day gets way out of whack.

It leads me to this:

That's right, free me! It's not all bad though, I still probably fit in a good 8-10 rides this month so I'm not complaining too much. Besides, I rode with my Bro several times and actually rode with a few old bro's too. But all this travel has paid off in spades on the business side. If all goes as planned we should have about a 25% growth spurt this year.

Speaking of spurts...I just passed my 43rd b-day and didn't get a single one. The b-day day was planned for a ride with Stacy & Justin, haven't heard of them in awhile eh? I got the ride in but just a few minutes into it the wife text messaged me saying the oldest kid was sick and our plans of a "fun" day were dashed upon the rock of puking kid.

Oh well, as always it could be worse. (But I do think I now hold the record for the most consecutive shitty birthdays!) Like I said it could've been an "Holy Shit!" day:

My "Holy Shit!" day came four days after my birthday!

Still it could be worse, and hopefully the doc doesn't tell me today that it is.

is that the ..... sun?

We finally got a break in both the cold and the moisture here in Okieland and we have taken full fucking advantage of that. Sunday we rode 100's and had a blast. I rode Grant's 100 with full dirt track tires on the nicely prepped 2nd gear oval for just a few laps and I'm hooked again. Gonna take the knobby tire of the rear of mine and throw a dirt track tire back on a la American Supercamp. (ok, a bit of a confession here...i can't figure out how to hyperlink. i don't know if it has something to do with Kevin being the original owner of this account or what but i've tried to follow blogger's instructions and the buttons they tell me to use don't exist on my log-in. ... so forgive me for being outdated and retarded) ... Where was I? AH!! American Supercamp! Check it: http://www.americansupercamp.com . I haven't been but Grant has and he's conveyed a ton of great info that translates to all kinds of riding with or without motors. I wish I had some cool pics to post of this weekend's session but I only have this one from a few months back when things were still green. That's Van tryin' to figure out if he's got what it takes to ride Jake's bike while I gas up the hunerd.


Speakin' of Jake I busted him outa kindergarten Monday afternoon to ride dirt bikes. A very cool day indeed. Here he be lookin' smooth. Again, this pic from the same day as the other.


Tuesday the BMX track was finally dry enough for the kids to practice on and they all had a blast. It's nice to be back in the swing of things. On the way there I swung by T-Town and picked up a light. I threw it on the Rig last night for a nice backroad ride to blow some cobwebs outa my chicken legs. You'd think with a name like NiteRider it would talk to you or somethin' but no dice. Turns out it's just a light. Oh well. Works good.


And last but definitely not least, I finally got off my ass and sent my payment in for a membership to the P.I.T. Hot damn! I had heard enough of cool bootleg cd's and other things that i was missing out on. Now I've got 3 years worth of it on the way.

Long live the Evil Powers of Rock-n-Roll!!!

Buddy

hobos vs. huckers

Kevin recently sent me a post from some local mountainbike forum thingy. (i have no idea where these things are) Our local trail spot, Turkey Mountain, caters to all sorts. Folks take their kids out there for nature walks. Some people actually trailer their horses there to ride. (Why people bring horses INTO the city to ride is beyond me.) But bikes are the main mode of transportation and this is especially so the further you get from the main parking lot. Another thing that gathers further away? Hobos. Being a fan of Kerouac, I'm a fan of hobos. In fact, I prefer the term "hobo" to "bum". "Bums" stand on street corners and ask for you to sustain them. "Hobos" do their own thing further away from the public eye and generally sustain themselves. ... What was I talking about? .... Oh yeah, the forum post. It turns out this kind biker noticed that the shady stunts near hoboland were beginning to disappear. At the same time this kind biker noticed a new inhabitant to hoboland always had a nice big fire. It's been damn cold 'round here lately and hobo's gotta stay warm too. Why am I describing this particular bike as "kind"? Well, while he doesn't personally partake in the stunts he put a warning on the board to those who do that they might wanna check things out pre-huck to make sure that part of their ramps hadn't become firewood. Very cool of him.

Now this is obviously kindling (notice the pun?) for a big discussion. Who is in the wrong? Is el hobo wrong for dismantling the stunts? I'm sure plenty will say that he is. But these stunts were mainly built from discarded pallets from the Pepsi plant which backs up to the woods. They were built "illegally" too. I'm not even going to debate the wrong-or-right-ness of that because I couldn't give 2 pinches of monkey shit whether or not someone builds these things. To each his own and I enjoy the easier ones from time to time. Anyway, the way I see it, 20 years ago, before this whole freeride thing existed, those pallets would have went straight from the back of the Pepsi plant to the hobos fire. Keepin' his toes warm and maybe heatin' up a can o' beans. Now the lifecycle of the pallets simply has an extra step. They go from the back of the Pepsi plant, some folks ride their bikes on them, then firewood. Pallets enjoyed by 2 tribes instead of 1. Now I'm sure everyone doesn't share my hippy view of world peace and whatnot. That's cool and they can preach the opposite on their own little soapbox on the side of the info-supa-highway. But when it's this cold outside, if someone's recreational toys get destroyed to keep a brotha' alive... How can you bitch about that? If you can afford a bike to ride on those stunts, you can afford to rebuild them occasionally.

Be careful out there,
Buddy

a real Hot Wheels car

Click el title-o for a great post-o from senor Coop.

Yes THAT is a post about hot rods.

Yes THIS is a blog that is sort of loosely based around bicycles. Sort of. Sometimes. Unfortunately the weather has been too shitty for too long around here to get stoked on bicycles or anything else outdoors for that matter. Go ahead. You folks from cold climates can rail down on my lightweight ass right now about how much colder, snowier, and all aroudn shittier the conditions are where you live but you ride anyway blah blah blah.... That's great. I'm happy for ya. You are so hardcore. Me? Not so much. Usually when it gets cold and icey here in Okieland it's gone the next week. One week it's in the teens with ice and the next it's in the 60's. Therefore I've never invested in much cold weather cycling gear. One more winter like this and I will though. Until then, I'm checking out hot rod stuff. Those of you who ARE riding bikes in it? Good for ya.

You go ride...I'll just drink,
Buddy

think your bad?

Remember Dave? aka Whistler? Remember how I said he was tough and a hell of a strong rider? Come to find out he's a tad bit tougher than I'd originally thought, check this email out:

I guess I need to learn to listen better. The doctor had told me to watch my shoulder after my bike accident. I thought since it had been a couple of years I could start working towards building the muscle back. So I decided I would go back to doing pull ups. During my third set last night I heard a pop. When I got down my arm is about 1/2" lower than it was. I now have an unsightly bump. A lot worse than I already had. I guess I ripped my muscle. So my pull up days must be over. It does not hurt, but it feels awkward. And is tender as hell.
But I am still up for mountain biking Saturday.

David

E-fucking-gads! He's not just an animal, he's a crazy animal!