top 10 bitches, TOP 10!!!

What a fucking weekend eh? Friday afternoon went for a little dirt spin @ Turkey & Saturday got my ass rocked off by these boys:

The one and only Eagles of Death Metal! Here I sit 24 hours later still getting off on the show. How good was it? I broke with tradition and bought a killer t-shirt with the hands logo on it and I NEVER buy a t-shirt, but these dudes deserve some more of my hard earned duckets!$$$

I would normally spend more time on the ride report but fuck my ears are still battered and bruised from last nights show; here's the link...go check 'em out! Eagles of Death Metal

And in case you're wondering if it's a blitzkrieg of rock the answer is no, it's not some total lameass 2 to 3 chord losers pounding out nonsense riffs louder than the other losers; it's straight up kickass rock-n-roll with a kick ass attitude!

See here:

And Here Shit Goddamn:

And let's not forget:

Oh, and how did I crack the top 10 out of 700 others? Well perseverance, hard work, dedicated to my goals, and just flat outlasting my competition...that's how!

You see by now alot of others would've given up but quit ain't in my dictionary and that's how at age 44 I was easily in the top 10 of oldest fuckers at the gig; but I promise you this, nobody there had a better time and nobody rocked any harder than I did!

Well, maybe the misses who was downing PBR's like they were ice fucking water!

Cool chick, very cool chick!

And let's not forget about Sammy, congrats to what seems to be a great guy, but umm looks like Fox Sports fucked it up the ass hard! From www.deadspin.com:

Boomer fuckin' Sooner

Like most typical OU fans I didn't go there but like most as a kid I dreamed of playing there, ergo lifetime fan.

This annihilation was flatout amazing. OU gets the Big XII Championship AND fucks over Texas head coach Mack Brown on the same night! How sweet it is!

Love this pic from www.deadspin.com:

One more game, and sadly my hopes aren't up too high for that one.

I know this is a cycling blog (mainly) and I know Buddy doesn't give a shit, but I do so if it bothers you then eat me.

get off my ASS

Yep it's been awhile but Buddy's been itching to post and so have I. 

The years been a little weird, I moved east of B.A. and somehow ended up in Tulsa? Go figure, anyway love the new house and the new schools that go along with it. (Still B.A. schools, again go figure.)

The riding scene's been wacky. I was starting to think that I'd ran off all my riding friends and then all of a sudden everyone's riding again along with a few new fellers; and I owe it all to my wife. Thus the blog post begins:

On August 9th I went for a little 13 mile ride with my wife and her boss, the pricipal where my wife is the librarian. The boss had been training for a half marathon and was starting to get in shape and wanted to try a bike ride for a cross training exercise. Now boss lady hadn't been on a bike in like 8 years and my wife hadn't ridden in like 3. (Went back to get her grad degree and started working, good enough excuses.) Anyway we ride about 13 miles total; when finished I'm in the parking lot waiting for them to arrive and upon arrival my wife says "Gene (boss) asked if we did the MS150 would you stay with us and I told her yes." (The two day 150 mile ride was in 5 weeks!) I concur and then Gene starts doing the math, she goes something like "so if we ride 8 mph we'd be done in like 10 hours the first day", so I of course shit myself and said something like "my ass won't be on any saddle for 10 hours so I'm out unless you two agree to a plan I concoct and stick to it", of course they agree and both being stubborn stuck to all the rides I'd planned for them without a single bitch session.

So the day before the MS150 commences they ask the question "do you think we can finish it?" and being honest Abe I answer "kinda", I said they could do the miles but didn't think they could do all the hills. (Which were all at about mile 70, short and freakin' steep!) Being the dummy I am they of course finish ALL of it and also make every freakin' climb and also finish the first day with about 7.5 hours of riding time. I was blown away and even shed a tear for the wife when she finished; yes I was proud of her! And btw for those of you who didn't ride the MS this year, it was held the weekend that the remnants of hurricane Ike blew thru, and yes it blew.

Since then it's been until recently riding, riding, and more riding. I've shed a bunch of the weight I'd sadly found over the last two years and am more stoked than ever.

Here's the crew. (I'm the fat but cute one and that beanpole on the left in the pic is none other than wifey)

Looking forward to more rides with the wife and yes that includes Turkey since she's got the nerve up to mtn. bike again and can't wait to get over this run of illnesses I've had lately and get back out in the dirt for night rides.

Too much fun!!!

Damn, almost forgot. Two days before the MS ride a crack in the wife's headtube showed up; T-Town calls Specialized tells them the details they say no problem, Jake says well there is, the MS ride is in two days, Specialized overnights a new frame and at the same time upgrades her two models! From the cheapo basic Allez to one with pimpin' carbon stays, a new carbon fork, and a free carbon post to boot! I've never been a fan of the horst link mtn. bikes but I may take another look next time I'm in the market for a ride.

Duh, how could I not mention this? The Evil Powers of Rock n' Roll blessed OKC with an hour show opening up for Rev. Horton Heat, fucking awesome. I've said it before and I'll say it again, how these guys don't sell a billion albums is beyond me; check 'em out! Click this shit!

Wow, there's a lot of shit bouncing around in my noggin''. Look for more posts and blasphemy spewage soon.

a tale of 2 bro's

I've mentioned here numerous times two of my favorite people to ride with are my bro Stuart, a natural blood relative bro, and bro Rich the wacky speed demon in-law. Well they've both had their health issues recently; Stuart's had multiple surgeries over the last two years and has one more coming soon which by his standards should be minor, a mere hernia that reaches from his sternum to the upper base of the peni peninsula. Stuart’s on a tear and itching to ride and Rich is on another riding plane right now healing up from a massive clusterfuck crash. (Pics later!)

Stuart’s recently bought another house (3) in Texas and called the other day; he was in a bike shop (bad move) and looking to buy a bike to keep there so he wouldn’t have to move his fancy-ass Enduro from location to location. The bike shop sales dude recommended this: That's a Fisher Cobia, retail about a G.

That made a ton of sense since Stuart is 6’6” tall so a two-niner seems like a perfect fit. However the sales rep didn’t realize that Stuart doesn’t ever buy the cheapest thing around so he took upon himself to upgrade to this:

That's a GF X-Caliber retail about a G & a half.

Now the dumbass has got me jonesin' for a 29'er. He's supposed to be in town this weekend and bring the new steed. He wants to ride the two back-to-back and see what the differences in rides are. That's cool, especially for a dude that's only mtn. biked a handful of times in his life. Of course he was bitten pretty dangerously by the bug before his health became an issue. An FYI, his health issues weren't his fault, what was all minor became massive due to poor healthcare and great insurance.

On to Rich; I'd mentioned sometime in the past that he'd had a severe road bike accident. He swears he was going quite slowly upon impact but the pic's tell a different story. I'll only explain the wreck, I don't need to pass any judgements or make any smart-ass comments; the pictures paint quite a story by themselves. Rich swears he was only (only) doing about 35 when he wrecked; he was descending (Mt. Tam I believe) when he hit the brakes and his front tire popped off the rim tossing him to the tarmac (road ride) thus breaking his pelvis in numerous places.

The resulting scar of a 22 pin surgery w/one broken drill bit left for good measure:

Other than a gasp I've got nothing else to say, except get well of course!

faux in a raux

God I suck at this blogging thing; I often mean to post but often forget or get busy or just don’t care.

Anyway, for the 4th year in a row I made a pilgrimage to Greenleaf during Christmas vacation. Knock on wood I haven’t been sick in a long time and am able to take my sick leave during this week. In years past my goal was to ride everyday and actually accomplished this goal for 3 running years but the last 2 haven’t been able to, but I’ve at least kept the tradition of a Greenleaf ride, and it’s getting tougher every year.

As usual I rode the lollipop in a counter clockwise rotation to minimize the amount of hill climbs (hike-a-bike’s for me) and to maximize the amount of killer downhills. However this year’s most smiles for the miles route wasn’t too hot. While Greenleaf wasn’t hit by the recent ice storms that destroyed Turkey and Keystone they were devastated by last years ice storms that crushed Muskogee; meaning there were still LOTS of trees down. Seemingly every opportunity to open it up and let ‘er rip on the downhills was interrupted by a downed tree, often every 200 yards or so. The dismount/remount tally between getting off to hike-a-bike and dismounting to get over or around the downed trees easily added up to over 100 and it fucking sucked! But compared to my riding partner Stacy I fared really well. At the 40% completion point he realized his knees were giving up on him and by the time we finished they were swollen and killing him; I actually felt sorry for the poor bastard. (I’ll get over that I’m sure.) The only problem I had was cramping in an odd spot; just above my knees on both sides. They got so bad at one point; about 400 yards from the finish, that I had to dismount and just stand. The pain had got so bad that I couldn’t pedal or walk, just stand there looking like an idiot; not that there was anyone around to see me but humiliating just the same.

As is typical of Greenleaf outings, when you first leave you think “screw this place, I ain’t ever coming back”; but after a few days the memory fades and you think “hell yeah, I can’t wait to get back there!” My passion to return is stoked by the memory of the final downhill section, it’s about a 3 minutes downhill that’s super rocky/technical white knuckle steep in one section and what Greenleaf is all about for me. I just need to buy one new replacement part for the Heckler and I’ll be good to go.

Try climbing hills with that pedal! I think this was part of the reason I cramped; while the often lauded great mud shedding capabilities of the eggbeaters was improved by 25% it made the clipping in possiblities decrease by 25% too; and it ALWAYS was in the wrong position when trying to remount.

I’m already looking forward ‘til next year.

taking the easy route

Instead of a full fledged write-up of current rides I'll post a quick story I sent to Buddy:

Man, this may be the most sore I've ever been after a 2 hr. ride. I parked up top and rode snake & the squiggly stuff up top and just kind of dicked around trying to re-learn the lights and learn where I need to point my head now that I've got a headlight too. All good & fun & confusing learning to point my head away from the trail to see where it goes up ahead. So after a good learning session I hit the upper squiggles again and come across two dear at the end then headed over to boner/techno/millenium (whatever it's called.) Wow I was a rockstar...for about 1/2 mile. I made it across the creek crossing which surprised me and after awhile I thought to myself hmmm, wonder if I can ride this entire thing dab free which lead to...you guessed it, a true dab-festival. I was all over the trail and saddle with lots of boneless moves. (see skateboarding where you plant a foot) The one thing the lights do not do well is let you know which rock is firmly planted and which is loose, of which there are lots now. Overall I thought I did pretty well, though it took three attempts to clear the rock garden climb on Hi-Chi. The first attempt was only about 10 ft. of trail, the 2nd about halfway, and third time was a charm. The other thing the lights don't do well is let you know the much needed depth perception of exactly how far your dropping off of a rock. When descending the 1/2 rock garden and the little section of trail that goes west toward the upper pond on the south end of boner up top made me ride my bike like a trampoline. Oh, and the reason I'm sore; because I had a serious death grip on the bars. I knew I was over-gripping but for some reason I couldn't stop it.

One other side effect; I had a hard time walking after the ride. It was if my equilibrium was off and it lasted for another two hours. Here's a crappy pic of night riding.

Rich is home but in a wheelchair; and I can't believe I was happy to hear this, but Stuart had 4 BM's yesterday! Good for him; I bet it's a weird feeling shitting after nothing has came out the back door for 6 months! If all goes well Stuart will go home today or tomorrow.

The last statements have to do with what's been happening to the loved one's in the last month; here's a bullet list of events & peeps:

• Bro Rich had a road ride accident that broke his pelvis in 5 places. He had a 7 1/2 hour surgery to fix it and went home in a wheelchair; he'll be in it for a few months. He also stated that he may just sell his custom built Serotta!
• Bro Stuart has just completed his 12 surgery in 24 months; he's doing well now and is home with his fingers crossed and two more minor surgeries looming ahead.
• Youngest kid had a sinus infection.
• Oldest kid had an ear infection.
• Wife has been battling pneumonia for almost a month now.
• Wife's sister had neck surgery and took a month off work.
• Me, fat & sassy.

One last ride report; went to OKC on business yesterday and took the SS for some Draper fun. (It's only fun on a SS!) Rode green & yellow loops; started out like shit but finished well.

Lastly, are ya' country? 'Splain to me what this is; hit the comment button, get it right, and I'll give you a prize. (The official prize will be an "attaboy" reply in the comment box.)

Hint: Leaves are edible, berries are poisonous, but poor country folk used to take the berries, squish 'em and use the juice for paint for kids craft projects.

dawg tired

Man it's been a long time since I've done a ride report because...well I just ain't been riding. Life, heat, rain, blah blah blah have kept my tired weak ass off the trail; until Friday...and Sunday! I finally put the rims & tires from the Heckler on the SS and what a difference those babies made. The tubeless tires give the hardtail some much needed cush and allow more bashing thru rockgardens without fear of flats and the weight difference seemed incredible. Whatever it was the Friday ride at Keystone felt like I'd been riding occasionally all along. I felt strong and on my game thru the rocks, and man the rain has exposed a lot more of the big rocks and created a lot of loose rocks. (More on that in a minute.)

Since Friday's ride was so good I just had to go back and do it again Sunday. Stacy had linked together Keystone Friday in such a way that I just fucking loved it. Most of the beginning of the ride flowed well and I thought was just perfect. My riding partner on Sunday got his ass handed to him. Ever had one of those rides where your friends just rip your fucking legs off? I have, tons of times but have never (that I know of anyway) really kicked somebody's ass on the trail who is stronger and fitter than me; but what can I say...Sunday was my day. The poor feller had had all he wanted just one hour into the ride!

Here he is at the first creek crossing resting his tired ass.

Notice how he's just barely in the water.
He eases into it a little more.
And a little more.

Almost there.
Aah, that's the spot.

You feel sorry for the dog? I didn't until we were done. I noticed he was limping across the parking lot and upon further inspection he had ripped the pads off of his front paws. He'd never had any problems at Turkey Mtn. before so I'm guessing it was all the loose rocks that got him here. He's in full doggy rehab mode now (being a lazy bum and getting to sleep in the bed with wifey and I) but will return to the trails soon. And btw he did awesome even though he hadn't been out for awhile. He trailed right behind me perfectly after about 5 minutes; the first five minutes he bumped the rear wheel a couple of times and at one point his bell even hit the tire which is amazing since it is looped thru his collar so he was WAY too close at that point. But after a few small hits he was back in form and loving the shit out of it!

Till next time bitches.