Tragically, due to the exceptional events involved; all three had unfortunately been pronounced dead earlier today; how untimely, less than only 48 hours before Christmas Day!!
Upon reaching the gates leading into Heaven; St Peter stood before the three departed and announced, "It is customary in these circumstances during the Festive Period, that in order to progress beyond the pearly gates; those seeking access into Heaven can only acheive this by demonstrating an attribute synonymous with Christmas "The fallen Giant rider dutifully reaches into his backpack; flicks and holds aloft his cigarette lighter, anouncing, "Look; a candle!" "Very well", responded St Peter, "You may pass beyond the gates"
The Santa-Cruz rider is the next to step forward; he reaches into his backpack and brings out his set of house keys, subsequently jingling them in-front of St Peter. "Behold - Bells!" says he"Mais Oui!" replies St Peter and the Santa Cruz rider duly continues into Heaven.
Finally, only the Specialized rider remains at the entrance to Nirvana, rummaging frantically through the contents of his backpack. Eventually, he stands before St Peter, unscrumpling a well-worn pair of the sexiest of women's skimpy undies and holds these forth in open hands "What in tarnation has this abomination got to do with Christmas, the most sacred of festive celebrations??!!" Demanded St Peter in utter disgruntled disbelief"Erm....................They are Carol's!" came the reply
This is about as close to riding as I got today, couple inches of rain and 40 degree weather'll do that to a feller. Maybe tomorrow.
BTW, story stolen from an MTBR thread.
Ever had one of those rides that starts out crappy only to get better? Me too but that's not what happened yesterday.
Supposed to get started at
I’d decided I’d had enough since my right big toe was now past numb and past exhilarating and approaching snapping off.
But I got talked into riding Lo Chi.
That’s when the commode stopped up to top off the nasty shit.
Four of us commence to riding Lo Chi, me, a dude named Lance who lacks in skill but kills it with balls and legs, and two others who are fairly new to the game. After we get past the initial tech bits I decide to open ‘er up and see if Lance can hang thru the berms and get his flow on and of course to see if my skills could overcome his legs. Well I won out; after about three turns I look over my shoulder to see if he’s there and he’s back quite aways so I let ‘er rip. You know how it is, you’ve finally been released and the scenery is flying by and you’re nailing spot after spot and since it’s leafy as hell you’re right at the edge of adhesion. It’s fucking cool right, you know the kinda cool where occasionally you’re having to manhandle the bitch a bit ‘cause the front tires sliding out due to the leaves and yet you keep your speed and flow going? Yeah, you feeling it? Me too, then something happened; I was flying thru the air with no bike, only about 2.5 feet off the ground. I landed about 10-12 feet from my bike and thanks to the leaves and the lack of rocks (thanks trailbuilder) I slid another eight feet on the ground. (Kinda cool, but hurts like shit today.) After shaking off the cobwebs I reenacted the event to find that I’d come thru a berm, yanked on the bars to center the bike, and placed the front tire right smack dab in front of a rock; bars twist, slap upper thigh, and I go superman/no seat grab. Initial injury was quite unexplainable, a cramp in my calf? I don’t understand it either but once I get home and head to the crapper, obviously to shit out the shit that I just ate, grab the latest Decline mag, assume the position with elbows touching upper thighs and wince in pain to find out that I did have a spot or two other than the leg cramp. Odd how I didn’t notice that earlier, adrenaline I guess. About an hour later I go thru one of my post bronchitis coughing bits to learn that I also bruised something in my upper gut in the slide that now is quite noticeable to me anytime I laugh, cough, turn, or especially when I…you guessed it…shit!
Peace out bitches and get some.
The one and only Eagles of Death Metal! Here I sit 24 hours later still getting off on the show. How good was it? I broke with tradition and bought a killer t-shirt with the hands logo on it and I NEVER buy a t-shirt, but these dudes deserve some more of my hard earned duckets!$$$
I would normally spend more time on the ride report but fuck my ears are still battered and bruised from last nights show; here's the link...go check 'em out! Eagles of Death Metal
And in case you're wondering if it's a blitzkrieg of rock the answer is no, it's not some total lameass 2 to 3 chord losers pounding out nonsense riffs louder than the other losers; it's straight up kickass rock-n-roll with a kick ass attitude!
And Here Shit Goddamn:
And let's not forget:
Oh, and how did I crack the top 10 out of 700 others? Well perseverance, hard work, dedicated to my goals, and just flat outlasting my competition...that's how!
You see by now alot of others would've given up but quit ain't in my dictionary and that's how at age 44 I was easily in the top 10 of oldest fuckers at the gig; but I promise you this, nobody there had a better time and nobody rocked any harder than I did!
Well, maybe the misses who was downing PBR's like they were ice fucking water!
Cool chick, very cool chick!
And let's not forget about Sammy, congrats to what seems to be a great guy, but umm looks like Fox Sports fucked it up the ass hard! From www.deadspin.com:
Stuart’s recently bought another house (3) in Texas and called the other day; he was in a bike shop (bad move) and looking to buy a bike to keep there so he wouldn’t have to move his fancy-ass Enduro from location to location. The bike shop sales dude recommended this: That's a Fisher Cobia, retail about a G.
That made a ton of sense since Stuart is 6’6” tall so a two-niner seems like a perfect fit. However the sales rep didn’t realize that Stuart doesn’t ever buy the cheapest thing around so he took upon himself to upgrade to this:
That's a GF X-Caliber retail about a G & a half.
Now the dumbass has got me jonesin' for a 29'er. He's supposed to be in town this weekend and bring the new steed. He wants to ride the two back-to-back and see what the differences in rides are. That's cool, especially for a dude that's only mtn. biked a handful of times in his life. Of course he was bitten pretty dangerously by the bug before his health became an issue. An FYI, his health issues weren't his fault, what was all minor became massive due to poor healthcare and great insurance.
On to Rich; I'd mentioned sometime in the past that he'd had a severe road bike accident. He swears he was going quite slowly upon impact but the pic's tell a different story. I'll only explain the wreck, I don't need to pass any judgements or make any smart-ass comments; the pictures paint quite a story by themselves. Rich swears he was only (only) doing about 35 when he wrecked; he was descending (Mt. Tam I believe) when he hit the brakes and his front tire popped off the rim tossing him to the tarmac (road ride) thus breaking his pelvis in numerous places.
The resulting scar of a 22 pin surgery w/one broken drill bit left for good measure:
Other than a gasp I've got nothing else to say, except get well of course!
Anyway, for the 4th year in a row I made a pilgrimage to Greenleaf during Christmas vacation. Knock on wood I haven’t been sick in a long time and am able to take my sick leave during this week. In years past my goal was to ride everyday and actually accomplished this goal for 3 running years but the last 2 haven’t been able to, but I’ve at least kept the tradition of a Greenleaf ride, and it’s getting tougher every year.
As usual I rode the lollipop in a counter clockwise rotation to minimize the amount of hill climbs (hike-a-bike’s for me) and to maximize the amount of killer downhills. However this year’s most smiles for the miles route wasn’t too hot. While Greenleaf wasn’t hit by the recent ice storms that destroyed Turkey and Keystone they were devastated by last years ice storms that crushed Muskogee; meaning there were still LOTS of trees down. Seemingly every opportunity to open it up and let ‘er rip on the downhills was interrupted by a downed tree, often every 200 yards or so. The dismount/remount tally between getting off to hike-a-bike and dismounting to get over or around the downed trees easily added up to over 100 and it fucking sucked! But compared to my riding partner Stacy I fared really well. At the 40% completion point he realized his knees were giving up on him and by the time we finished they were swollen and killing him; I actually felt sorry for the poor bastard. (I’ll get over that I’m sure.) The only problem I had was cramping in an odd spot; just above my knees on both sides. They got so bad at one point; about 400 yards from the finish, that I had to dismount and just stand. The pain had got so bad that I couldn’t pedal or walk, just stand there looking like an idiot; not that there was anyone around to see me but humiliating just the same.
As is typical of Greenleaf outings, when you first leave you think “screw this place, I ain’t ever coming back”; but after a few days the memory fades and you think “hell yeah, I can’t wait to get back there!” My passion to return is stoked by the memory of the final downhill section, it’s about a 3 minutes downhill that’s super rocky/technical white knuckle steep in one section and what Greenleaf is all about for me. I just need to buy one new replacement part for the Heckler and I’ll be good to go.
Try climbing hills with that pedal! I think this was part of the reason I cramped; while the often lauded great mud shedding capabilities of the eggbeaters was improved by 25% it made the clipping in possiblities decrease by 25% too; and it ALWAYS was in the wrong position when trying to remount.
I’m already looking forward ‘til next year.