Liquor in the front

Last year my good friend Steve gave me a bottle of Jager' for Christmas. This year I painted up the empty for him. Hope he digs it. (305 Club = his house, #305) He finally got his new Bianchi San Jose in so I'm swingin' by there today to drop this off and check it out.

Happy Holidays,


Christmas List

Yeah. I realize posting a Christmas list on this blog goes against the normal blasphemy and skepticism we occasionally throw around but let's not get crazy. We still like gettin' presents an' shit. So without further ado, here are some last minute gift items if anyone was wondering:

Mary Bars from On One in the UK. The Fisher needs these in a bad way. The bars that are currently on it are straighter than my cock on prom night and I don't know of anyone who likes that. ... Anyway, I had a set of Mary Bars on my first singlespeed and loved 'em. If you've never tried a set I highly recommend it. (for what my recommendation is worth)

A Mcleod. I'm currently building a new trail loop on our land and after seeing these babies on the IMBA website the look hamn dandy.

No. Not 4 dudes and a Dodge. (although the Charger would be cool) What I'd like is a membership to the PIT, the fanclub for the greatest rock-n-roll band in the world... The Supersuckers. (preferably a Gold Top one) I'm not usually one for fan clubs/autograph type shit but being a member of this one gives you some damn fine perks. Check it out: http://www.supersuckers.com/fanclub.php Not sure why I haven't already done this myself.

Not just regular suckers. Suckers laced with Percocet and a center that smells like poontang. Let me know if anyone finds these.

Well, there ya go. Answers to questions that nobody had. Exactly what this blog excels at.




The motocross world, and the world in general, lost an icon. Marty Moates, the first American to whoop all Euro dog asses at the 500cc USGP on a privateer LOP Yamaha, decided it was time to get on with other things. www.martymoates.com Suicide is a strange thing. Some cultures consider you damned for it while others think of it as a respectable and romantic way to end things. Being that I have a dear friend who chose this particular route to ...wherever... not long ago I tend to go with the latter. We all ride our own little crazy train to one place or another. Sometimes it slows down at the station and we step off when asked. Other times it just keeps accelerating until you gotta bail on your own.

Mr. Moates delivering cool stuff to little kids who need cool stuff.

Mr. Moates delivering the historic ass whooping.

Make it count,


i should've listened....

To my own advice. See Buddy asked me just last Friday how to keep his feet warm when it's cold and I replied with the ghetto way of ye olde Wal-Mart bags over the socks and in the shoes. It's not the best system but it's liveable; anyway I head to Keystone Sunday with the temps in the 40's but knowing that there was still snow on the ground. And to my thinking 40's=warm so I'll be OK and don't need to bag the feet; however that there snow is wet and when the feet get wet I get to whining; so after about an hour and a half of riding and many dabs & hike a bikes my shoes, socks, and spirits were soaked and freezing.

What'd happened is the show'd been on the ground for 11 days and was finally too tempting to not go give 'er a try; and man was it fun. I was surprised how much traction I had in most situations and surprised how little I had when the trails went uphill any at all. To make any little elevation I felt like I was throwing my body all over the bike to just scratch upwards a few feet. I do feel guilty 'cause the trails were saturated in places and I left deep ruts but I'm also a realist and know that it'll go away in time. (riding on wet trails is a debate for other people)

I took the pic's with my trusty camera phone so the qualities not too good.

Funny how in some places you could still see the rocks under the snow and in others they totally disappeared.

It may be gay but I can never take pic's without getting a pic of her.

When there's snow on the ground and the sign says caution, they mean it.


bored out of my G O U R D!

While Buddy's "Broke As a Joke" I'm here at the computer on Saturday night; the kids are in bed, the wife's in the tub, we've just seen the Xmas Parade and this thing is always loud and cool.
Nothing big tonight but I did find a couple of links to follow; first I wanna ride with these guys just cause they got cold ass posters. (Click-it to follow-it.)

And another. Man did I love Smokey & the Bandit. "I said give me a diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper! And make it snappy...I'm in a goddamned hurry!"

Who am I kidding? It's still one of the greatest movies of all time!

And finally, life is weird if you pay attention. Click Miss Julie for her latest happenin's:
I'm gonna get me some leftover snow ridin' tomorrow. I'll report just how it went down later. (Maybe)


a brave new world?

OK, maybe most of you have seen/heard this already. Here's the full story: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/P/PLANE_PASSING_GAS?SITE=ORPEN&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

The short version? Some chick was on a plane, farted, then lit a match to cover it up. This caused the plane to make an emergency landing, the FBI was involved, luggage was screened, etc...

Any dude that did this would be held in the highest reagrd by his friends. I know of a guy who once farted in elevator and made the woman in there with him, a complete stranger, puke. That's the top o' the charts in my book. But to be the guy who brought a commercial airliner down by shitting his pants? Wow. Keep a Sharpie handy because you're gonna be signing your autograph more than David Duke at a NASCAR race.

This quote from the article deserves some attention: "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up." .... Really? Because I think it's unusual that they would GROUND A PLANE and involve the FB-fucking-I because someone lit a match. Maybe that's just me?


broke as a joke?

Man, what kind of dumb fucking analogy is that? Sure it rhymes but simply rhyming doesn't do it. In fact it makes it a bit dorkier. First things first, a good saying/analogy has to draw a picture. For instance:

"Slicker than cum on a gold tooth." While I've never dated a chick with a gold tooth...I can imagine this.

"Shaking like a dog trying to shit a peach pit." Never personally experienced this one either. Although Kevin actually has a peach tree in his back yard AND a dog who eats them peaches and he assures me this makes perfect sense.

What brought this on? No idea. Since this is a completely pointless post, as they really all are, how about a girly shot?

Now I don't like to use pics without noting where I found them but I simply can't remember where I snagged this one. I know the 'net surf session started out checking out hot rod sites, as many often do, and one of my favorite jumping off points is http://www.roaddevils.com/. Check it out. If anyone finds the specific site this photo resides at lemme know and I'll hook 'em up with a link too. ...and with the overwhelming amount of folks that come to kungfubiking I'm sure that they will see people flocking to their site like hobos to a pot of stew. .... See? That shit works



the uncalled for 720

We don't get much snow/any in OK; so when we do we go big mountian riding with the locals.

My kids and I sessioned this baby for awhile and had a blast. My first run with Isabel got a little woolly when dad decided he'd stick a foot out in an effort to steer; the resulting 720 was totally out of left field and happened so quick you guessed it; it made my head spin! Of course the other result was dad having by far the biggest yardsale of the day. I got a high-five from another dad at the top for my quality ragdoll too.

Anyway I hope all are enjoying this rare treat and for each dude out there I hope there wives become temporary snowblowers.


who's qualifyin' now bitches?

You've all seen them. Those assholes who have the "I'm not speeding I'm qualifying" stickers. It's usually right next to the Dubya sticker. Well, today we got a good old fashioned Oklahoma ice storm. We don't get good snow very often. Just this shitty ice we have today. Starts out as rain, turns to sleet, and whatever is on the ground glazes over. It's bumpy so it sucks for sledding, you can't make snow forts out of it, and the rednecks around here with giant SUV's damn sure can't drive on it. I'm not a speeder and I usually get blown off the road. Well, not today my friends. Today, when it actually takes some skill to go fast, I was the one qualifying and qualify I did. No semis and no LCQ's, I went straight to the main outa heat numero uno. Normally the most entertaining part of my 42 mile commute is NPR but today it was 4 wheel drifts and e-brake turns. Hey BillyRoy, maybe you need a bigger truck, eh?

Keep it pinned,


maybe it's just the weather...

...….but damn I wanna build an indoor BMX track so bad I can hardly stand it. Nothing huge. Not only would it be cool for our own use but for other folks as well during crappy weather like we're having now. I couldn't open it to the general public but would be more than willing to have an open invite to the folks at our local track. Just a simple poll barn with enough room for 3 short straights. They don’t have to be wide either. A cozy little 2-man style set-up will do. Something like the pic below.

Yes. I know. I have the ramp project in the shop to do before this but I'm just thinking out loud. If anyone has any info on the cost per square foot of a simple tin pole barn feel free to leave it in the comments section. I'm sure it's easy enough to find but I'm lazy today. If you dig the pic above there are plenty more like it on www.bmxnews.com in the photos section under "DC Trails Race."

Speaking of BMX, as that's all this post is doing, my boy Jake raced in the ABA Grands here in Tulsa for his second time last week. He was in the 6 Intermediate class. While he didn't make it out of his qualifiers he did ride as hard as he could, had a good time, and pulled off the track with a big ol' smile every time. That is what I call success right there. His mom and I are annoyingly proud as usual.

Stay warm,


me convertible?....nah

Saturday morning I went for a ride with a local church group; yes I, he of little faith rode with a church group. I got to the trails at 8 a.m. which is a few hours before they arrived to stretch the legs and enjoy the brisk 34° weather. Upon arrival and before heading out a blessing was said for safety and for the bikes! So I proceeded to ride for the next hour with a blessed bike! It was a group of the "haves" and the "have-nots", there were some experienced riders and some newbie's, some cool bikes and some old rigids; no-one seemed to care. Anyway the riding was pretty good.

The wife has a fear though, and that is that they are out to get me, to get me to convert to one of them; a regular churchgoer, a Wednesday night-Sunday morning parishioner, a 10% donator. She thinks Chris, the rider I met who was on a Santa Cruz Blur, is a spy. She thinks they sent a guy out that is like me, who rides the same brand bike to buddy up with me and get me to church. Well....I've got news; maybe I'll be working on Chris trying to show him the light and bring him over to the darkside. Show him how great Sunday morning rides are, how fantastic Turkey Mtn. is on a Sunday morning when everyone else is at church and get him interested in the more important things in life. Bikes, booze, and boobs!

One last thing; I had to spend 7.5 hours wearing a orange vest and carrying a walkie-talkie around my daughters soccer tournament being a Marshall. Needless to say I was disappointed to not get a badge and pistol. Anyway, it was cold, wicked cold, tiring, boring, and lonely all at the same time. But, during the last game everyone was murmuring about how Garth Brooks was on the other field and didn't want to be "disturbed" watching his daughters' game. Well, me being me just strolled over during halftime of my daughters 2nd game and started chatting to some other guy (evidently Marshall's are respected) about the weather and other crap and Garth just strolls up and starts chatting with me. We talked for about 5 minutes or so then I go on to talk to the coach and make sure everything's OK in his world and do my duties and then begin to stroll back to my post at my daughters' game and once again he chats me up. I'd always thought he'd be a big ol' dick since he came off as such an ass kisser in interviews but come to find out he's just a regular old guy who probably really wants to be left the fuck alone like the rest of us. I should have given him a card for this blog and got him on a mtn. bike instead of a horse. His house is on a couple of hundred acres that'd make a kick ass freeride park.

Party on Garth.


food, shelter, & bikes

This is a good read. http://www.circleacycles.com/web/anarchism.asp They make some damn fine bikes too.



not my week for credit cards

2 posts in a row concerning credit cards...this should tell me something.

Last month I missed the payment for our credit card. Totally missed it. Just forgot it, misplaced it, …something. Imagine that. A lady called me on Friday to inquire about it. It just so happens I sent the payment of $160 Friday morning before she called and I told her that. She acted like we were cool like Fonzi.

Fast forward to yesterday. A lady from the same compnay calls to tell me that they were reporting me to the credit bureau for my payment being 30 days late. I told her that I had already been contacted and had sent the payment on Friday. She said that may be so but if they didn't receive a payment of $70 in their office by the end of the day then it would be reported. (all with that bullshit "concerned for me" tone) I explained that I had been with their company for years, had no recollection of being late any other time, had sent them a payment of $160, but if they felt that they needed to report me then, by all means, report away. She then told me that I could stop payment on the check I sent and they could do an electronic check over the phone by simply blah blah blah…. I interrupted and told her that was really more trouble than I felt like going to for a check they were more than likely to receive in the next 24 hours. It then went like this:

Bitch: Sir, aren't you concerned about your credit?
Me: Nope.
Bitch: I'm really sorry to hear that.
Me: But not sorry enough to NOT report me to the credit bureau?
Bitch: Sir, we have guidelines.
Me: Then I guess you better get to reportin'.
Bitch: Ok. Well sir, I'm really sorry that you're not concerned about your credit. Me: Mmhmm. (click)

What a cunt. A simple "okie dokie" from her would have sufficed. Spare the concerned routine for someone else. As always I thought of all the fun stuff that I should have said for my final comment about a minute too late:

· …and I’m sorry that you sound like you’re a frigid tart.
· You should be stoked. If folks like me weren’t late with their payments, no talent assclowns like you wouldn’t have a job calling us.
· Does this disaster to my credit mean that I’ll quit getting all those credit card offers from other companies?

Oh well.

In the red,


confetti anyone?

If any of the people reading this are by chance one of the same jackasses who applies to random credit card offers sent via US Mail....FUCKING STOP. It's assholes like you that makes those same companies fill my mailbox with their shit. Shit that I have to take the time to shred because some other mouth breather, barely lower than you on the "worth-a-shit" scale, could possibly screw my lackluster credit up with the info inside. Since the offer to loan me money was sent unsolicited I think I should be able to apply, receive said account, max the fucker out, and then never pay it. When approached by the same company about my unpaid balance I should simply be able to say "That's what you get for not being pickier with your bidness partners." I've now begun sending everything right back to them in their postage paid envelopes with the simple note "I'M TIRED OF SHREDDING THIS SHIT." Who knows if that works but it's more fun than trashing it. You'd think in this day and age of conservation and preservation there would be a bigger push against junk mail and the paper resources it devours. Or if that angle doesn't work.... You'd think in this day and age of crazy fuckers walking into businesses with firearms there would be a bigger push against companies not pissing random folks off.

Send it all back,


totally off topic

After 2.5 days in Vegas the following is true:
  • I won't shit right for a week. (No not like that.) But after multiple comp'd buffets and one night @ Ruth's Chris crapping now feels like a train's being pulled out of my ass instead of my usual nuggets.
  • If you get ahead of 'em early; gambling is a lot more fun.
  • 11 people in a limo is uncomfortable.
  • Most old timers that live in Vegas are bitter and should either a.) die or b.) get another fucking job. Your there for me, so kiss my ass and I'll tip you. Whine about how the old days were much better and I'll stiff you. PERIOD!
  • They should change the name to the "Bloody booger capitol of the world", fuck that's some dry air.
  • If you get ahead and play it right you can earn enough to cover half of the new FSRxc Pro you'd put on layaway for the wife before you left town. Spec's are here


back to bicycles

I had a blast at Gold Rush but now it's back to simplicity for another 50 weeks or so until the next one. Probably won't fire up a motor over 100cc's until then. Damn it was fun though. It's not often that one gets to show up with nothing more than a gear bag and race. I was unable to compete in Sunday's Pro event due to me being a huge pussy. It had been 2 years since I really rode anything like that and it showed at the end of Saturday's team events. Nonetheless I was pretty stoked with my pace. We got damn lucky on our random # pick though, eh? That's always cool.

This weekend we're brewing beer at the 305 Club and, depending on the weather, I'm hoping to get a ride in at Turkey on the Slayer. In less than 2 weeks Jake gets to race his 2nd ABA Grands and we're all looking forward to that.

Go ride,



No no no no no! Not worked but


I decided to take the old Giant ATX 760 rigid for a little ride today. You know how it is; I'll ride the smooth stuff, nothing too harsh, especially since it's only got a 1" steer tube.


Two hours later I'd ridden the snake run 3 times, the cool ass swoopy shit up top a handful of times, and then down the ridge trail thru the rock garden and over to boner/millennium!


Major props to the originators of this sport for riding rigid.


BTW, my dream of a step-up on snake run is now realized. It needs work, but it's a work in progress!

Maybe a pic of the Giant and the step-up some day, for now I'm off to Vegas!

nothing a few $$$ won't fix

Remember this post?
It's about my brother getting his first bike since childhood.

He'd been keeping me informed of how it was going; he was only riding it on the road to get a feel for what riding a bike is like. He soon realized that with his prior back problems that a dual suspension was what he really needed. Thankfully the guys (Jake) at T-Town were down with giving him full trade in price since there were no scratches and it hadn't been off-road. So anyway I arranged a trade date and we arrived with me fully intending for him to add about another G or so and get a FSR-XC. It being a good beginner bike and not that much more expensive. WELL...T-Town was busy when we arrived so I got down the only XL FSR-XC they had in stock. This wasn't the exact model he would get but he could ride it to get a feel for the sizing. While waiting on Jake my bro spies a 2006 Enduro Expert. Yes that bike, the one with the Fox 36 Talas, the one with the DHX 5.0, the one with the Juicy 7 brakes, yes the one with the SRAM x-9 derailleurs & shifters, and yes the one that retails for 3500 smackers. OK, he originally bought a $500 rig and now he's looking at something a "little" bit more. (At least it's little for him.) But one problem, it's only a large and bro's like 6'6" with the ungodly leg length of 38". So we put the two frames side x side and realize that the top tube difference is only about an inch or so. Bro being non-bike savvy points to the stem and gives it a "dang, if only that thingy was longer". Sooo...on goes a 110mm stem, out the door goes the bike for a parking lot test, off one curb, 3 pedal strokes, and one bro looking over his shoulder saying "Yep, this is the one!" gleefully.

The guys at T-Town do it up right and let him have the bike for a total of $2500, so instead of adding 1G he adds 2G's without a sweat. No one asked me but I think that's a banging deal.

I call bro about 3 hours later and ask him if he's ridden it yet or if he's still got it up on a milk crate staring at it. He said he is indeed out in the garage staring at it and will save it for his inaugral ride with me. I tell him to get it out of the garage and ride the bitch around his property; we'll get to the trails in due time. Best part; he called less than 24 hours later and he'd been out on it four times and asking what skills he needed to learn. I tell him the first simple thing is to learn how to raise the front wheel about 6" while seated and while standing so he can get over obstacles without fear. He calls about an hour later and excitedly tells me he's got it and he's had his first crash while riding over rocks on his property.

I hope he sticks with it and loves it like we do. There ain't nothing better than a few bro's riding dirt and passing gas like a pit crew at a Nascar track.

And lastly, remember Buddy's post about McMurtry: http://kungfubiking.blogspot.com/2006/10/mcmurtry-doesnt-rock-it-rolls.html How about a little video action? Right click and download this baby! http://www.pedalmasher.net/mark/stillwater.wmv It's got a little section where I biffed right after telling Buddy I couldn't reply to a question 'cause I needed to "focus". Great timing since I ate shit less than 5 seconds later. (It's the section where the guy spun out & unclipped at 4:50.) At least I had an excuse; my chain popped off due to the mega torque my fat ass was applying. Weirdest thing though, I never let go of the bars or uncllipped during my endo; I just rode the Fetish SS to the ground. BTW, hanging on for dear life doesn't cushion the landing.

Peace out bitches; I'm off to Vegas!


hot damn i is alive

I did it. I flew. Well, actually I just sat there. The pilot did all the flying. The cool part is that I think I may be on my way to ridding myself of one ridiculous phobia. Now maybe I'm just thinking it isn't that scary because there is no immediate reason for me to fly anywhere soon...but I do feel MUCH more relaxed about it. Vodka is a great thing too. You can pour it into a regular water bottle and drink away right up to the point where they make your trash it at security. One odd thing, on the flight back we weren't even backed away from the terminal when the flight attendant came up and asked me to turn my ipod off. ??? This is not comforting. The thought that my ipod can somehow bring the plane down doesn't necessarily instill confidence. (maybe someone should alert bush's dumb ass that we only need to find a way to place ipods on our enemy's aircraft) Not to mention that take-off is one of the parts of flying where I could REALLY use me some Lemmy. Nonetheless, there is one of life's little battles won. Overcoming a fear that has kept me from doing cool stuff is a great thing. I'm far from total relaxation with it...but maybe I won't have to be as liquored up next time.

Tonight we party like rockstars. Kindergarten rockstars (it's Jake's 6th birthday party), but rockstars all the same. This weekend we race (previous post). After that it's back to normal days and hopefully more time on the bike. I'll be continuing the cleaning of the shop for the ramp and maybe begin the layout of a 4X style track on our other property. The 4X idea is something that Steve (the operator of our local BMX track) and I have been kicking around. We'll see how it goes.

Live it up,


fly, party, race

This weekend is the annual Gold Rush GP here in Okieland. It's a motorcycle and ATV off-road race that is held at Hallet Raceway. You can find specific info here if you care: http://www.okgoldrush.com/ It's sort of in the spirit of the old Elsinore GP that everyone has seen on On Any Sunday. (if you haven't seen that...DORK) The racecourse changes every year. Each lap usually conists of sections of the road course with trails laid out in the surrounding wooods and one lap usually adds up to somewhere between 7 & 9 miles. Sometimes the stints on the asphalt only last for a corner or two but I personally like it best when we stay on it for a long time. Hopefully that will be the layout again. It's a 2 day event. Day 1 (saturday) is considererd the fun day. That's when the have the 'buddy races'. 2 riders per team for a 3 hour race. You're free to alternate any way you want. This year I'm teamed with my friend Keith on his YZ450 in the bike event. I really appreciate him asking me and offering up his bike for the abuse. We're gonna have fun. Then my friend Lonnie called me and offered me a spot as his teamate in the ATV event. (Just a bit of background, Lonnie runs Sandtrax, builds motors that are faster than a striped-ass-ape, and has helped me out a ton over the years so I'm stoked to be able to ride with him on something he's put together. The quad should be a rocket.) So that's two 3 hour events, albeit split between 2 folks, on Saturday. Then Sunday is the "serious" day. Lonnie has been nice enough to offer me the same 450 ATV for the 2 hour Pro Quad race on Sunday afternoon. This is NOT a team deal. This is bragging rights and cash on the line. If you want to know where you fit in...this is the race to find out. In past years I've went into the pro race on Sunday intending to be one of those up front and possibly one of the guys who might win it. I've missed it the last few due to scheduling conflicts. (the pic is of me from a the race a few years back....and "no" Roll-Offs do not work nearly as well when they string behind you like that)

This year? I haven't ridden anything bigger than my XR100 (other than last weekend) since....? So I'm just going into this sort of like the recent mountainbike race. I'll be givin' it all I got for as long as I can and just see where it all shakes out. ...and I'll be havin' a damn good time regardless. My only promise is that I'll be able to hold my head just a touch higher afterwards since I'm usually a bit better at these things.

Oh and for anyone who thought this is mainly a bicycle blog... It is. And after this "once a year" race I do it will mainly be back to that. ...and music, and skating, and bitching, and whatever else Kevin or I feel like rambling about. Tomorrow I will be drinking little overpriced vodkas on a plane to Houston. Then on Friday (this is where Mr. Optimism says my plane won't crash) I'll be taking a vacation day to get my shit in order for Gold Rush and help prepare for my little boy's birthday party Friday night. Lots to live for there so this pilot better have his fucking A game on.

That is all,


dead man riding

I've found a new trick to progressing one's riding. Motivation thru threat of The Reaper. See, I've got this fear of commercial air travel. When I was a little kid I flew a lot. As I got older I got to thinking about things. I realized that just because a dude has little wings pinned to his chest and his boxers smell like stewardess doesn't necessarily mean he isn't a fuckin' whack job. How do I know that his wife didn't just dump him for the proverbial milkman and he's ready to lawn dart me and the rest of the cattle into mama earth just to make that bitch of his pay? (actually then she would have the milkman AND his life insurance but you know how dudes don't think) I know. This is a stupid fuckin' phobia. Millions of people fly every day and live to tell about it. ...the ones whose planes actually take off and land safely anyway. When they do crash how many folks get to pop that little door open and slide down that inflatable slide? Riiiight. That shit happens. .......... Anyway, what I was originally saying, progression. I've gotta fly to Houston for some stupid engineering forum this Thursday (Nov 2nd). Down and back in one day. Luckily I get to race both motorcycles AND atv's this coming weekend (Nove 4th & 5th) and I'm pumped about that. I can't remember that last time I've even ridden a "real" motorcycle. So this weekend I got to ride with my bro's on our little private piece of land and had a blast. Spent some time getting comfy on the YZ450 I'll be racing. I got so comfortable that I found a gap jump I hadn't hit before. How big? Well, like any guy forced to give you a length without actually measuring I'm gonna err on the side of making me look cool. I think it was around 50-60 ft. Not big by any means on a regular race track. but when you're jumping out of one ditch and over another, you've got an unprepped take off about the width of your tire, the run-up requires dodging a tree or two, and coming up short isn't an option...that distant looks a little more...manly. I rolled over it a couple of times and HERE is where the whole "progression through fear" comes in. I figured I had 2 choices.

#1: I could puss out, not hit it, and die in a plane crash without having done it.

#2: I could hit it, eat shit, and maybe get hurt bad enough that I wouldn't have to fly on Thursday.

Wow. I wish it was this easy to decide what I want at Arbys. This was a no-brainer. I went for it. First one came up just a tad short and caught my rear wheel on the vertical wall of the far side of the ditch. My right wrist and ankle felt it but I rode out of it. I then had to hit it again immediately. The longer you wait the harder it is. I hit it again, this time a little with a little more balls, and was over it easily. Whew! It felt good to push myself. Now if I'm sharing a bottle of vodka with The Reaper at least I can do it with my head a little higher. Shit.



ramp project in process

It's a slow process...but it's started. A little history here. When I was a kid I lived in the same place that I do now. Due to other's misfortune our old house was vacant and when my wife and I first got married we moved into it. Behind that house is a cabinet shop that my dad built. Well, we finally built a new house a few years back, the old one is now gone, but the shop remains. While the house sat vacant all those years the shop did not. It became storage for anything and everything my grandparents didn't want to throw away. (this means everything they came in contact with) The contents of the shop has fluctuated over the years. I've gotten it pretty clean at times only to let it go at others. It's got a lot of my crap in it but there is still tons of...I don't even know what it is. I do know it's gotta go. I've been talking with Dave (see mongolian link to the right) about building a mini and he has been a huge help. Basically this post is for Dave just to prove that I am working on it a little at a time. Here's a pic of the shop as it was Saturday morning:

Yeah I know. Pretty nasty and it's a horrible pic. But now (dave) you get an idea of what I've got going. 30x50 and full of shit. Anyway, I just started grabbing things and throwing them in the truck. All of this was next to the "refreshments" fridge.

Wow. That looks sorta like a problem. .... Anyway, I was able to get 2 loads like this to the dump.

At least having a shithole catch-all like the shop allows me to keep the real garage fairly clean.

Hopefully this weekend I'll have the opportunity to make a few more trips. It's not the fun part of the project but it's gotta be done. Once I get a spot clean I can start annoying Dave again with dimension questions, pool coping questions, and the age old "to skatelite or not to skatelite". But I think I know the answer to that last one.



if this is what they consider hard...

....then I'd say a Viagra salesman could make a KILLING at their wife's next tupperware party.

This is a pic of me from Sunday's race. At the top of this little trail there was some signage indicating which trail was easy and which one was hard. Since this line was considered "hard" it's pretty obvious why no amount of technical ability could make up for my lousy fitness.

Nonetheless, the trails at McMurtry are a blast. This picture is not indicative of how much fun they are. There's a lot of flow hidden back in the woods and I highly recommend them.

Me no train,


beat down received

I did the McMurtry Madness mountain bike race yesterday. Rode the singlespeed. Entered Sport. I think there were somewhere around 6 to 8 dudes in my race. I hit the woods in last much like my duathlon experience. I do better when I get out of the serious folks way and learn what I can. I passed two guys after the first couple of miles. Somewhere on the first lap one of those passed me back as I pushed the bike up a technical little hill that required a much lower gear to clean. I cheered him on and he was very cool. We both agreed that a beer stop in the woods would be nice. This trend continued throughout the short little race. I'd let folks by as they caught me, I'd cheer them on, and sometimes they were cool. I got a kick out of the dudes going by with it turned up to 11. Rock on in the Sport class racer boys. We all suck...but glad you're going for the gold. I'm glad I did it but it was a strange experience. I was surprised by how many dudes were taking things so serious. They'd catch me grunting and wheezing like they were about to die. In fact, as one dude went by he answered my "Lookin' good. Howzit goin'?" by simply saying "suffering." Yeah, well...good luck with that shit. I didn't push that hard. The race was around 16 miles long. I rode around by myself at a comfortable pace and then tried to ride sorta hard for the last 2 miles. This caused my asthma to kick in and me to choke like Mama Cass on a ham sandwich. Pretty damn pathetic. Turns out I don't have the lungs, legs, or (most importantly) the WANT to do that kind of racing. Much respect to those who do. Nonetheless I had a fun day. Like I had mentioned in a previous post, Libbi went with me. We plowed through the Krispy Kremes on the way there and enjoyed a good lunch aftewards. That was cool. As far as me doing another moutainbike race, probably not gonna happen. Sitting in the car waiting for my race seemed ridiculous. Those trails were just sitting out there while I sat around waiting to ride them. All just so I could leave with a bunch of dudes, half of which were in their underwear, at the same time. No thanks.

I'm slow,


ain't nothin' but money

Kevin sent me an email with this link
and the following comment:

"now I know I don't have 2G laying around but I figured you did"

Well, I looked. Nope. No 2G's laying around. Not even 1G. But while I was looking I did find a Sonic peppermint and a Zeke CD under the seat of my truck. Bonus. The deal on the Nomad is a fine one indeed. Ya know, I don't mind bein' regular joe 9 to 5'er. I prefer beer to champagne, I'm scared of flying so the private jet would be wasted, and I'm sure even coked out strippers get annoying after a while. If only the toys were free. Oh well. I'm more than content with the 2 bikes I've got. But if you're not...check out the Nomad deal.



my problems with the cycling community ver. 1.0

This has been brewing for awhile and came up in conversation again today. I know I probably shouldn't care, especially when it comes to the MS150 which after all is more about raising money than bike riding but you have to at least try to ride it all. I wanna hear a "fuck yeah I'm riding it all, even if it kills me!"

This edited post was taken from an email I sent to Buddy looong time ago, but I saved a copy for days just like today.

There's a mentality that goes on in cycling that disgusts me; and it goes like this.

Kevin: dude, you doing the MS150 this year?
Dude: yea man, it'll be cool
Kevin: have you been riding? i haven't seen you at the organized training rides.
Dude: nah man, i'll just ride as far as i can and sag the rest
Kevin: huh?

Kevin: dude, you doing the HH100 this year?
Dude: yea man, it'll be cool
Kevin: have you been riding?
Dude: nah man, I’ll just ride as far as i can and sag the rest
Kevin: huh? I thought the goal was to man up and ride 100 in the heat?
Dude: we'll see

Whatever happened to commitment? Whatever happened to goals?

Now comes a KICK-ASS wife story that carries the proper attitude:
In 2005 she decides she wants to ride in the Flower Power. It's a ride that originates in Muskogee that David's a big volunteer at, and she decides she wants to ride the 62 mile version. She'd only ridden 20 miles that spring and other than that none since the previous summer. Well it's hot and the route had several climbs, one was probably a half-miler that was freaking' steep, and there was another that's probably 1.5 miles and is a monster. Now she can't make either but on the big long sustained climb she gets off the bike and starts pushing. I'm at the top chatting with David and he goes back to her and see if she wants help. (He's driving the support van.) He pulls up and asks if she wants to put her bike in and get a ride to the top. She tells him to....drum roll please...FUCK OFF!!! She tells him she committed to 62 and by god she'll do 62 without anyone’s help!!!! Yeah BABY! The ordeal damn near killer her but you see she had COMMITTED to it.

I'd have done her on the spot if she'd have let me.

My wife inspires me; these fuckers devastate me.


remember this guy?

Click the title shit to read the article about brother man Rich from Cali; he of wanton bike desire, he who rocked when forced to rock, he who showed mad skills when he had none, he who just broke his thumb...OFF! That's right, that was the doc's prognosis. I repeat, not broke, but broke off! Here's a few pics:

Now he's got some kick-ass titanium to go along with his kick-ass Serotta!

Seems he was on his lunch group ride doing some high speed descending when he hit an oil spot ala Joseba Beloki in the '03 TdF.

Which caused uni-baller #7 to do this:

Instead of high-siding though he went under the bike and caught himself with his hand until the pain got too grand and he decided to go for the face grind. (Which I've always believed was a much tougher and cooler way to come to a halt.) Know what really sucks when you do shit like this? You gotta ride back. Rich had 5 miles back to the office which he said wasn't too bad; at least not too bad UNTIL he had to cross the railroad tracks! I'm sure that pain made him get the cold chills. Anyway, he made it to the ER at 2:30 and at 6:30 he was in surgery. I guess you get the express treatment when you don't just break a bone, but when you break one off! The doc's determined the surgery was a success but getting him to stay off of a bike will be harder than getting Martha Stewart off on dirty sheets.

Way to go bro; better you than me.

And one last thing; this is oh so sauteed in wrong sauce:

Quit it you fucking morons, quit trying to be so cool, just ride your fucking bike!

As Buddy said before "Don't forget to flip the collar up on your shirt." And as I've said before, you're todays Dick Numero Uno.

making the world a better place


You've read about it, you've seen pics... Hell, maybe you're one of the fortunate ones who has actually been there or one of the good folk who has helped build it. Soon we will all be able to get a little slice of it into our dvd players. Watching the world go by from your couch isn't advisable but I see this as inspiration. Inspiration to get more folks to shake a leg and make something fun. This is what I envision for our little 80 acre corner of the world...but for bicycles. (And yes Dave the ramp in the shop. The ramp WILL happen too.) For the bicycles it will be nothing but simple DIY trails. Not big "hucks" and things like that. Sure there will be the occasional ladder bridge and parts where you come off the ground on our trails but only if the flow takes you there. Just dropping off of something to say you did it doesn't mean it's fun or make it feel good. I did some planning this weekend and came up with some cool stuff. I've already got a fun little snake run type trail planned that should take very little effort to bring to life. The snake run then links to some existing cow trails, makes it's way back into some dense woods.... and then it started raining. More trail, and pics of said trail, to come.



Pop My Cherry

This coming weekend, Sunday the 22nd to be exact, is the Tour de Dirt race at McMurtry. This is gonna be my "first" moutain bike race. I put first in quotes because I actually entered a race at Keystone a few years back but only made 1/2 a lap before flatting out. This was back before I carried pump & tube with me at all times. Does a DNF mean it never happened? No. But I didn't get enough to know if I like the taste. This weekend I'll give it another shot. Much like the duathlon I have no idea what to expect. Have no idea how hard to go and when. But then I'm not racing to win. Just racing to race. I'll be riding the Rig but not entering the singlespeed class. I'll just sign up for Sport and give it what I've got on that day. I'm kind of excited in curious sort of way. And to make it even cooler my hottie wife is going with me. I think she's just going for the cheese fries at Joe's aftewards. Can't say I blame her.

Go race?


From Ricky Carmichael to Ricky Bobby

Probably mentioned this on here before but just to refresh... I grew up racing motocross. Lived and breathed it. Now my friends and I just have XR100's to goof off on but I'll always be a huge fan. That being said, I am NOT a fan of folks riding dirt bikes in national parks and such. I have no idea why they do that. Don't see the fun in it. Dirt bikes are fun on racetracks, not trails. But that's a post for another day. So to get back to what this post is for....

Last week I heard that Ricky Carmichael was going to have a BIG announcement on October 12th. Now I didn't necessarily mark it on my calendar but I was interested. I was hopeful that he had changed his mind and was going to go ahead and race full time for '07. Turns out it was only this: http://www.racerxill.com/articles/detail/1168/rcs-big-announcement.aspx Great. There is no other form of racing that could do such a stellar job of taking the fun and excitement out of watching RC. Maybe some folks are looking forward to watching him drive in a big circle with a bunch of other cars for hours. In fact, I'm sure that's what Jeb here is getting this important call about.

Whut? One o' dem dere motorsickle racers? He whut?! Raced a japuhneez sickle? Well sheee-it.

I'll be watching Ricky Bobby instead. It's got cougars an' shit.


you're only as comfortable with life as you are on your bike

The guys in charge of the Doubleshot Duathlon put a bunch of pics of the race up on their site and gave permission to steal 'em. So I did.

It's been a damn weird week for me. Things that have nothing to do with bikes have made it a weird week. Last night I took the SS out for a ride and it felt completely wrong. I've hated the bars since the first time I rode it as they are damn near broom handle straight. However, nothing else felt right last night. The bars were too straight and low, the seat felt way too far forward, and the seatpost is getting increasingly harder to keep at the correct height. I've had issues with all of these things for the last few months but last night it was like it all sucked at the same time. Is that due to strangeness of the week? Who knows. What I do know is I'm changing shit up. I'm throwing some Mary bars on and that will require a stem swap due to the oversized Bontrager it comes with. A Thomson will be thrown in it's place. To fix the seat post slippage and seat placement woes I'm gonna get a Thomson setback seatpost. The setback should cure the seat position and the little machining marks that Thomson posts have should keep things more secure. Nothing a little cash won't fix. Too bad everything isn't that easy.

Be good,


McMurtry doesn't rock, it rolls.

We rode the Lake McMurtry trails in Stillwater this weekend. (kevin, david, & i) Those are a blast. For anyone in the area who hasn't been I highly recommend them. For the most part it is like riding a long skinny BMX track. The dirt is mostly packed and buff. There are little rises and berms all over. Occasionally the trail dips into a draw roughly 2 stories deep and then you're back to swooping and rolling through the trees on relatively flat ground. Yeah, I know...sort of the opposite of "mountain" biking. Tons of F-L-O-W though. There are plenty of berms to lean in to and tons of little transitions where you can bunny-hop early, catch downside, and pump on down the trail. There are 2 trailheads. I preferred the trails on the southern side of the lake but both are fun and well worth the $5 fee as the park service really does a good job of maintaining things. Keep an eye out for the surly old park ranger. He rolled up, collected the dough from the drop box, and then played daddy by scolding me for riding around the parking lot without my helmet. GASP! Flat gravel parking lot without the ever so protective bicycle helmet perched high on my head. Watch out Johnny Knoxville. I'm gunnin' for your gig. Anyway, they are having a race at McMurtry on Oct. 22nd. Not sure yet if I'm going to take part in that or not. I do know that I'll be riding there again very soon.

Go ride 'em,



Ahhh, Interbike; where porn truly meets two wheels. Not a ton of words; the pic's should speak for themselves; but I'll speak anyway.

Killer skatepark bike.

Peaty's awesome Santa Cruz.

The sweetest Intense yet. They're workin' hard for my money.

Ouch!!! But purdy.

Ooh, my Bianchi was purchased just in time or I think I'd spend the big dosh on this cutie.

And this honey's got my name all over it and may get my DNA all over it one of these days.

If money was no object.....

I repeat; if money was no object...

ROADTRIP! It was good enough for Ferrentino.

And one just 'cause.

Insert brilliantly funny remarks here.