Liquor in the front

Last year my good friend Steve gave me a bottle of Jager' for Christmas. This year I painted up the empty for him. Hope he digs it. (305 Club = his house, #305) He finally got his new Bianchi San Jose in so I'm swingin' by there today to drop this off and check it out.

Happy Holidays,


Christmas List

Yeah. I realize posting a Christmas list on this blog goes against the normal blasphemy and skepticism we occasionally throw around but let's not get crazy. We still like gettin' presents an' shit. So without further ado, here are some last minute gift items if anyone was wondering:

Mary Bars from On One in the UK. The Fisher needs these in a bad way. The bars that are currently on it are straighter than my cock on prom night and I don't know of anyone who likes that. ... Anyway, I had a set of Mary Bars on my first singlespeed and loved 'em. If you've never tried a set I highly recommend it. (for what my recommendation is worth)

A Mcleod. I'm currently building a new trail loop on our land and after seeing these babies on the IMBA website the look hamn dandy.

No. Not 4 dudes and a Dodge. (although the Charger would be cool) What I'd like is a membership to the PIT, the fanclub for the greatest rock-n-roll band in the world... The Supersuckers. (preferably a Gold Top one) I'm not usually one for fan clubs/autograph type shit but being a member of this one gives you some damn fine perks. Check it out: http://www.supersuckers.com/fanclub.php Not sure why I haven't already done this myself.

Not just regular suckers. Suckers laced with Percocet and a center that smells like poontang. Let me know if anyone finds these.

Well, there ya go. Answers to questions that nobody had. Exactly what this blog excels at.




The motocross world, and the world in general, lost an icon. Marty Moates, the first American to whoop all Euro dog asses at the 500cc USGP on a privateer LOP Yamaha, decided it was time to get on with other things. www.martymoates.com Suicide is a strange thing. Some cultures consider you damned for it while others think of it as a respectable and romantic way to end things. Being that I have a dear friend who chose this particular route to ...wherever... not long ago I tend to go with the latter. We all ride our own little crazy train to one place or another. Sometimes it slows down at the station and we step off when asked. Other times it just keeps accelerating until you gotta bail on your own.

Mr. Moates delivering cool stuff to little kids who need cool stuff.

Mr. Moates delivering the historic ass whooping.

Make it count,


i should've listened....

To my own advice. See Buddy asked me just last Friday how to keep his feet warm when it's cold and I replied with the ghetto way of ye olde Wal-Mart bags over the socks and in the shoes. It's not the best system but it's liveable; anyway I head to Keystone Sunday with the temps in the 40's but knowing that there was still snow on the ground. And to my thinking 40's=warm so I'll be OK and don't need to bag the feet; however that there snow is wet and when the feet get wet I get to whining; so after about an hour and a half of riding and many dabs & hike a bikes my shoes, socks, and spirits were soaked and freezing.

What'd happened is the show'd been on the ground for 11 days and was finally too tempting to not go give 'er a try; and man was it fun. I was surprised how much traction I had in most situations and surprised how little I had when the trails went uphill any at all. To make any little elevation I felt like I was throwing my body all over the bike to just scratch upwards a few feet. I do feel guilty 'cause the trails were saturated in places and I left deep ruts but I'm also a realist and know that it'll go away in time. (riding on wet trails is a debate for other people)

I took the pic's with my trusty camera phone so the qualities not too good.

Funny how in some places you could still see the rocks under the snow and in others they totally disappeared.

It may be gay but I can never take pic's without getting a pic of her.

When there's snow on the ground and the sign says caution, they mean it.


bored out of my G O U R D!

While Buddy's "Broke As a Joke" I'm here at the computer on Saturday night; the kids are in bed, the wife's in the tub, we've just seen the Xmas Parade and this thing is always loud and cool.
Nothing big tonight but I did find a couple of links to follow; first I wanna ride with these guys just cause they got cold ass posters. (Click-it to follow-it.)

And another. Man did I love Smokey & the Bandit. "I said give me a diablo sandwich and a Dr. Pepper! And make it snappy...I'm in a goddamned hurry!"

Who am I kidding? It's still one of the greatest movies of all time!

And finally, life is weird if you pay attention. Click Miss Julie for her latest happenin's:
I'm gonna get me some leftover snow ridin' tomorrow. I'll report just how it went down later. (Maybe)


a brave new world?

OK, maybe most of you have seen/heard this already. Here's the full story: http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/P/PLANE_PASSING_GAS?SITE=ORPEN&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT

The short version? Some chick was on a plane, farted, then lit a match to cover it up. This caused the plane to make an emergency landing, the FBI was involved, luggage was screened, etc...

Any dude that did this would be held in the highest reagrd by his friends. I know of a guy who once farted in elevator and made the woman in there with him, a complete stranger, puke. That's the top o' the charts in my book. But to be the guy who brought a commercial airliner down by shitting his pants? Wow. Keep a Sharpie handy because you're gonna be signing your autograph more than David Duke at a NASCAR race.

This quote from the article deserves some attention: "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up." .... Really? Because I think it's unusual that they would GROUND A PLANE and involve the FB-fucking-I because someone lit a match. Maybe that's just me?


broke as a joke?

Man, what kind of dumb fucking analogy is that? Sure it rhymes but simply rhyming doesn't do it. In fact it makes it a bit dorkier. First things first, a good saying/analogy has to draw a picture. For instance:

"Slicker than cum on a gold tooth." While I've never dated a chick with a gold tooth...I can imagine this.

"Shaking like a dog trying to shit a peach pit." Never personally experienced this one either. Although Kevin actually has a peach tree in his back yard AND a dog who eats them peaches and he assures me this makes perfect sense.

What brought this on? No idea. Since this is a completely pointless post, as they really all are, how about a girly shot?

Now I don't like to use pics without noting where I found them but I simply can't remember where I snagged this one. I know the 'net surf session started out checking out hot rod sites, as many often do, and one of my favorite jumping off points is http://www.roaddevils.com/. Check it out. If anyone finds the specific site this photo resides at lemme know and I'll hook 'em up with a link too. ...and with the overwhelming amount of folks that come to kungfubiking I'm sure that they will see people flocking to their site like hobos to a pot of stew. .... See? That shit works



the uncalled for 720

We don't get much snow/any in OK; so when we do we go big mountian riding with the locals.

My kids and I sessioned this baby for awhile and had a blast. My first run with Isabel got a little woolly when dad decided he'd stick a foot out in an effort to steer; the resulting 720 was totally out of left field and happened so quick you guessed it; it made my head spin! Of course the other result was dad having by far the biggest yardsale of the day. I got a high-five from another dad at the top for my quality ragdoll too.

Anyway I hope all are enjoying this rare treat and for each dude out there I hope there wives become temporary snowblowers.