3.16.2006

public service announcement

For those of you who didn't have it marked on your calendars, yesterday was national "Drive Like an Asshole Day." It's a floating holiday. Apparently when folks pass you with the old clenched fist and angry mime routine you're not supposed to smile big and wave like a retard. That may be the closest I've ever seen anyone come to spontaneous combustion. I highly recommend it.

Don't be an asshole. Go ride your bike. Round the world? To the mailbox? Wherever.
Buddy

3.14.2006

so you want....

....bike porn? Check it: http://bikecentric.blogspot.com/ As always there are a bunch of posts worth a moment of your time but see the March 5th entry for links to even more pics from the North American Handmade Bicycle Show. The bikes from Ahearne are oh so sexy. So far I've only had the wampum to afford the Spaceman Bicycle Flask Holder but maybe someday I will be fortunate enough to bolt that to one of his frames.

Enjoy!
Buddy

3.09.2006

As promised; I'll start posting pic's of bike porn that "speak" to me. It can be old 'n purty, or shiny and new, all I know is on occasion I see a frame/bike setup that just makes me want to spend a bunch of my hard earned cash.
Is beauty in the eye of the beholder?

Those things are beautes and yes sometimes fugly is beautiful too in a "dang you got balls to ride that" kind of way.

Speaking of beauties; so is this:

Thanks for sixteen kick-ass years!

3.05.2006

William Tango Foxtrot?

As birthday rides go I would have to give Friday's ride a 10 for fun, 10 for embarrassment, 10 for shitty things happening, a 3 for actual ride time, and a whopping 9 for ice cold brewski's. (The brewski's would've been a 10 but the USSR judge hates PBR!) This ride was literally a joke, 3 dorks trying to act cool on bikes with all knowing that only I can pull it off. You see when you hang at the back of the pack you look like you just don't have a care in the world; and brother let me tell you; I don't! Sadly David's BB shell shelled out and it looks like new frame time. (I say sadly but he seemed kinda happy.)


Now what I want to know is what happened on the climb to spider at the end of HoChi? You see I thought when you were on a SS you weren't supposed to make climbs like that. Showtime and I watched David make the climb on his 2nd attempt (after a little chiding); then numero uno dickhead tanner boy rounds the corner like a monkey on crank riding a rigid SS and proceeds to climb to the top! So here I set, birthday boy in full effect with ALL the peer pressure on me! WTF is that? It was my birthday dicks! Well let me tell you sumpun, somehow I mashed and yanked on the pedals and cleaned the bitch that I didn't expect to clean until late summer. Of course as a proud member of the SS club I immediately decided that I'd rather not talk about it at that time and let the accomplishment waft over me like a fine stripper perfume. Actually now that I think about it I couldn't fucking breathe for another 5 minutes; but either way it wafted over me like that perfume.

So there bitches; whats the next challenge?

3.01.2006

It's been awhile since I've posted a long miscellaneous rambling post so here goes:

First off; met a new riding partner at the trailhead a few weeks back. He’s a young punk name Jarod who’s having a blast riding his bike; just like we all should. Anyway he’s new to trail riding and we hooked up his first time at Turkey a few weeks back and piddled around for awhile, me on the SS and him on his Haro dually. I gave him a semi-complete tour of the different trails to let him get his bearings and see what all is available to ride. Turkey truly has a little of everything for people to ride.

So, we hooked up again this weekend and rode for a couple of hours with a little brisker pace and had a blast again. We did the south trail to LoChi and got the flow going on the SS. Great trail for one speeders. As I’ve stated before, I’m surprised what I can clean on this bike. LoChi back south is a bear on the Heckler and surprisingly it wasn’t too bad on the Fetish. I guess weight is the biggest part here. Anyway only had to dab on one climb! We hiked up to HoChi, rode it to Boner then to Lip Buster. Hella good times on all those trails.

Then, the weirdest thing happened. While wifey and I were in OKC Monday evening to attend the Coldplay concert we stopped at Toby Keith’s bar to have a beer and snack before the show, and sitting right in front of us was Jarod. Small weird world I tell ya. Cool place btw:


OT: Concert Review

Opening act: Fiona Apple
She sucked and dances like there’s a bee in her dress and she’s swatting it away. I will give her thumbs up for the passion she has for her music; it just didn’t speak to me. (Probably ‘cause I’m not female, 17, and a lesbian.)

Headliner: Coldplay
Hella good show. This was the only concert at a large venue that I can ever remember that the act got the crowd into the show without the use of gimmicks or special effects. These guys were digging the fact that the fans were digging their music. They even made an obscure reference to the Flaming Lips. I’m sure most have no clue who they are but using Google you can find out. Now, some may argue that Coldplay isn’t a “cool” band; they’re clean guys, don’t rock heavily, don’t party absurdly amounts, don’t shoot up like true “rock stars” do, but I can tell you this: Shut the fuck up, they play tight with massive bass and driving drums. I mean it’s not like they’re gay or anything; they are married guys, and one of ‘em famously married. Lighten up on the guys, it’s not like they hit the tanning beds. And we all know what that leads to…right?


One day you're a tanning bed guy and the next...well you're a guy that likes furry balls on his chin.

OK, last ride report of this long-ass-winded post:
In certain circles I’ve been known to talk shit about how the trails in our sister city (Oklahoma City) suck compared to our most excellent blood covered trails. You see the most technical aspect of their trails (NuDraper) is the gravel parking lot. I’d ridden them four times before and each time I promised myself I’d never go back. Well the day after the Coldplay concert I had to be back in OKC for a meeting the next morning so I loaded up the SS and took it with me thinking that Draper would be better on this rig; and boy was I right. I think in the past I was just way over-biked for those trails. I made a complete lap of yellow, green, and red trails with the SS fork set at 115mm and dug it. I then set the fork at 100mm and did another complete loop and just freakin’ loved it. With the bike set like this you could really get the flow going on the swoopy singletrack and really stuff the bike into the corners. After the two laps I was pretty much toast; I’d forgotten my CamelBak that morning and only had a bottle of Gatorade to sip on to get me thru the ride which I polished off after the second lap. I loaded the bike and car up, started the car, made about 20 minutes of business calls and one call to Progressive Suspension about my Heckler shock, all the while watching more and more people hit the trails. Well hell, I got the itch again, and without fluids went for another spin on the yellow loop. About 10 minutes into it I could see a rider ahead of me so I set out to catch his geared ass on my one gear with my fat ass. All the time thinking thoughts like this:


I was slowly reeling him in and was getting to the point that I could taste the kill when all of a sudden a stealthy rider was on my ass! Well it was really on, I gave it all I had left in the tank for about two miles; I couldn’t shake the rider on my ass and couldn’t quite get the guy in front of me, so with my increasing desire to puke I pulled over, settled down, rode easily back to the lot swearing and knowing that the SS and me will frequent this trail often on my travels to OKC.

Lastly, since bikes have replaced porn I will from time to time post pic's of some of my favorite models around; pretty much based all on aesthetics: