it's gone, the shit that is, i ate it

Ever had one of those rides that starts out crappy only to get better? Me too but that's not what happened yesterday.

Supposed to get started at Turkey Mtn. at 9; so of course one dude shows up at 9:20. After he gets his kit on its then about 9:35 and up to the top we go. The weatherman had promised that the 40 degree temps we're experiencing will go up to about 48 by noon them plummet like corn loaded turds. Anyway he was fucking wrong, as soon as we got to the top it was quite obvious the wind had already switched and was coming out of the north so we'd already peaked at a brisk 42 or so. Anyway we head over to snake run and I'm givin' 'er but she ain't motoring like normal since it was straight into the wind and the trail was nice and tacky. Oh well I'm thinking by the time we get out of there I'll be nice and toasty. WRONG! By the time we get out of there I'm a fatass popsicle who's right big toe was now having pins poked into it. So we dicked around for awhile and finally one guy says he's got to go home so we head to the lot which means wind at our backs but higher speed in cold weather evened that out so nobody could get warmed up. After waiting for what seemed like forever the rest of the crew shows up and it’s decided we’ll do bomb cellar so it’s another fast blast to keep everyone refrigerated.

I’d decided I’d had enough since my right big toe was now past numb and past exhilarating and approaching snapping off.

But I got talked into riding Lo Chi.

That’s when the commode stopped up to top off the nasty shit.

Four of us commence to riding Lo Chi, me, a dude named Lance who lacks in skill but kills it with balls and legs, and two others who are fairly new to the game. After we get past the initial tech bits I decide to open ‘er up and see if Lance can hang thru the berms and get his flow on and of course to see if my skills could overcome his legs. Well I won out; after about three turns I look over my shoulder to see if he’s there and he’s back quite aways so I let ‘er rip. You know how it is, you’ve finally been released and the scenery is flying by and you’re nailing spot after spot and since it’s leafy as hell you’re right at the edge of adhesion. It’s fucking cool right, you know the kinda cool where occasionally you’re having to manhandle the bitch a bit ‘cause the front tires sliding out due to the leaves and yet you keep your speed and flow going? Yeah, you feeling it? Me too, then something happened; I was flying thru the air with no bike, only about 2.5 feet off the ground. I landed about 10-12 feet from my bike and thanks to the leaves and the lack of rocks (thanks trailbuilder) I slid another eight feet on the ground. (Kinda cool, but hurts like shit today.) After shaking off the cobwebs I reenacted the event to find that I’d come thru a berm, yanked on the bars to center the bike, and placed the front tire right smack dab in front of a rock; bars twist, slap upper thigh, and I go superman/no seat grab. Initial injury was quite unexplainable, a cramp in my calf? I don’t understand it either but once I get home and head to the crapper, obviously to shit out the shit that I just ate, grab the latest Decline mag, assume the position with elbows touching upper thighs and wince in pain to find out that I did have a spot or two other than the leg cramp. Odd how I didn’t notice that earlier, adrenaline I guess. About an hour later I go thru one of my post bronchitis coughing bits to learn that I also bruised something in my upper gut in the slide that now is quite noticeable to me anytime I laugh, cough, turn, or especially when I…you guessed it…shit!

Peace out bitches and get some.