Snap! I've Been Served...One big steamy pile of Hi-Chi Shit

This is the end result; how in the world do you scratch the faceplate of a stem while trail riding you ask? Read on...

Be forewarned; this post contains graphic depictions of actual trail carnage:

After a nice day of riding Boner and doing a little exploring with Whistler we decided to end the day with a little jaunt south on Hi-Chi. All was going well with the usual dabs here and there with one small un-clip tump over until we met the family that was having a trailside picnic. There was a man in traditional western wear with his four boys taking it easy on a big rock enjoying lunch in the warm November sun. As we approach Dave asks if they've brought enough for everybody; a small chuckle was had by all and I started concocting a little joke of my own to add in the fun when the following happened:

This is where it gets graphic. Thanks to the power of the home PC we're now able to render computer generated graphics to relive events; it's almost spooky how good these graphics are. This is the beginning:

And now for the horror; if you've got kids have them look away: Nasty eh? Way technical right? Let me tell you that little slow speed lawn dart action hurt like a mother. The following injuries occurred:

· Two bruised thighs
· One badly jacked knee with two nice popknots
· Bruised chest
· Bruised forearm
· Sore shoulder
· Sore neck

Because everything happened in slo-mo I had time to check and see if I'd grabbed a handful o' brake; nope. Did I unclip? Nope. Is that rock moving toward my grill? Yep. One slight head adjustment to the left, right shoulder to rock, then craaaaccckkk goes the spine. Oh shit I think while laying there; did I just break my spine? No, the toes and fingers are twinkling fine. I may not know what it feels like to break your back but I damn sure now know what it sounds like. Sadly, if those four boys were hoping for mountain bikes for X-Mas I'm sure cowdaddy was X'ing those gifts off the list. (Sorry kids.)

Need I say it...UNCLE! You fucking rock strewn fucker. Even when I'm just mosey'ing you decide to fuck me? Well fuck you too bitch! Next time we meet I'm bring a sledgehammer and a Camelbak full of Snickers 'cause we're gonna be there all mother fucking day! You'll be like those Colorado buff trails everyone's alway ranting about.


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